i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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