so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
