so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
