i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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