yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
