butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
