Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
