i already hear my dad disowning me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
