Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
