I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
