K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
