just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
