The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
