i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
