you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
