oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
