I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
