hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
