Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
jump out the window naked night went bad
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