First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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