Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
