I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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