I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
