I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
