also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
