Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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