Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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