I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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