I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
