there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
