she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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