belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
