What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
