Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
