I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
