I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
