Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
