google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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