Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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