The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
