I'm so fucking centered right now
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
