It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
