dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
