Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
