they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
