My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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