like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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