I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
