This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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