Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
